Congratulations! You’ve finally secured a date with that handsome gym man. To be demure at dinner, you virtually sit on your tongue.
After all, isn’t it all the fashion these days to be an introvert? (You hear how much happier introverts are in life, love, and job wherever you go.)
However, being an extrovert or an introvert has nothing to do with shyness or speaking out; it has everything to do with how you acquire energy and digest life events and situations.
Extroverts are energized by being with others, but introverts require silence (and occasionally seclusion) to refuel.
Extroverts need to figure things out verbally, but introverts contemplate ideas in their heads before expressing an opinion, which is one of the reasons we seem to talk so much.
Introverts and extroverts alike are naturally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically designed to love, be loved, and be a part of a community. Each takes a different attitude to life and requires various types of affection.
That doesn’t mean you can’t be enthusiastic about the world. Instead, master skills to help you handle the world around you, which is full of individuals who manage their energy in different ways than you. This is especially true in the dating world.
If you do decide to pursue an introvert, here are three things an extrovert should be aware of when dating one.
1. Focus your attention on listening.
We extroverts have a tendency to think by talking. We’re also a bunch of big time interrupters. Our responses are already bubbling to the surface as another person speaks to us, almost bypassing our minds. Others, particularly introverts, are irritated by this, and they feel hushed by us.
They took the time and care to listen to your ideas and feelings. They believe their words are insignificant when you interrupt or stomp on their less-dominant mode of communication.
Giving others their chance and say goes a long way in creating trust and rapport. I know it seems like you’re being tethered when you don’t speak at every urge, but allowing others their turn and say goes a long way in building trust and rapport. So, put some thought into a list of questions you may ask an introverted date to get a response. Then shut up and pay attention. This is how an intelligent conversation starts.
2. Suggest low-key dating locations.
Being among other people energizes extroverts. You feel more alive when you attend a large party, nightclub, or popular restaurant. Introverts, on the other hand, are drained by these encounters and can’t wait to get away. It feels personal if he wants to stop the night early when, in reality, he’s exhausted from the crowd’s noise and intensity.
When one of you wants to go out and the other prefers to remain in later in your relationship, it might lead to tension.
Introverts must pay attention to new situations. On a date, you want them to be focused on YOU, not on a noisy surroundings. As a result, recommend a date location that is familiar or low-key.
I understand that being in a too-quiet setting bores you, but it allows you BOTH to get to know one other without being overly distracted by the outside world.
3. Take it easy.
You want to explore new things and take it all in as an extrovert. You’re quick to think, move, and enjoy being in the limelight. When you don’t succeed in a new talent fast or when others don’t keep up with you, you might get frustrated.
Introverts are typically drawn to the uncontrolled sense of adventure that comes with them, particularly if they don’t have to prepare anything. But, for them, all of that zeal rapidly becomes overpowering and tiring.
This isn’t to mean that you should abandon your desire to see the globe; rather, slowing down allows you to master the art of enjoying. Take a step back and observe how your introverted spouse approaches an issue with seeming ease. By observing their perseverance and drive to master new abilities and go on experiences with you, you may learn patience.
You may not only provide that gift to your spouse by being more patient, but you can also become less judgemental and patient with yourself.
When it comes to love, being an extrovert isn’t a disadvantage.
You’ll never feel completely welcomed and loved if you spend your dating life pretending to be someone you’re not (outgoing warts and all). You have the best chance of establishing a collaborative, loving, and supportive relationship if you be your magnificent, extroverted self — even if it is with an introvert.
Why? An introvert is naturally drawn out of his or her shell by an extrovert who encourages them to explore and experience the world around them.
When the world feels too crowded and overwhelming, an introverted partner is the understanding and supporting mate you need.
He or she will be the first to propose that you kick off your shoes, pour yourself a glass of wine, and curl up on the sofa in front of the fire. That’s not a horrible way to spend a dating night, in my opinion.