SEASON 01 – EPISODE 10
Standing outside with my hands covering my d!ck, Ann came out of the house, I checked the dry lines and saw some semi dried clothes….dump or wet I just put them on, Ann sees me dressing up……
Ann: ’’what is the meaning of this huh? Bigboi I’m talking to you….who is that rude guy??’’
Bigboi: ’’babe, don’t mind that guy, just because of some small money I owe him that’s why he is behaving that way…’’
Ann’s phone starts ringing…’’hello’’…
Father: ’’Annabel, where are you?’’
Ann: ’’dad, I am fine’’…
Father: ’’I didn’t ask how you were doing, where the hell are you?’’
Ann: ’’I am in Cozen Hardy, bungalow 21/24’’…
Father: ’’wait for me there, I’m coming to get you’’
Bigboi: ’’who is that..?’’
Ann: ’’my dad, he is coming here for me’’…
Me: ’’herh, but you told me he went for peace keeping’’…
Ann: ’’I lied’’…
Noorr like 4 soldier jeeps start pulling over, I located the nearest available jumpable wall….awaayyy about 4 koti boys start dey chase me…..I forgot to tell you, I be site boy….i know every lungu lungu in the area, 10 minutes later I ended up at ‘’ZION-GAZA’’…heerh I taught the place was on fire, everything dey burn, come and see smoke. I saw ma guys…..!!
Bigboi:’’yo Don Kuzzo, yo, yo, Exco, yo Quame, Spero…asay Pipa!!! Wah happen bosses?’’
Exco:’’yo fresh boy, 005 OG, Bigboi that, the boy who looks good even in a broken mirror….komfo long time’’ if you see the size of the ganja this paddy dey blunt err, killer size kush (ahaban tong-po)….he passed it to me, I don’t smoke but I didn’t want to look like a dada bee in a ghetto so I made the terrible mistake of my life and puffed 1…just 1 oo, nigga man start dey cough and start dey laugh anyhow, then I taught they were crazy but I couldn’t help myself so I joined them in the laughter, my laughter turned into crying…!!
Bigboi: ”what is wrong with me? We were actually waking the whole neighbourhood, one matcho man with a terror voice interrupts our laughter….!!
Ras Ningo: ”hey, you people they make noise”….!!!!!
Everybody stopped except me, gosh, I didn’t know what was making me continue to laugh cuz I was as high as a kite, ah no see am sef….!
Bigboi:’’hahahaha….who the fuck is that, go suck boobs bed massa’’
Then I realized like joke like joke everybody was mute, ‘’who be this guy?’’
One fearful rasta man, his thick natty dreads partially covering his face , thick tall like that, he reminded me of ‘’killer 1’’, I abruptly paused the laughter.
Ras Ningo: ”you say wetin?’’
Bigboi: ”I said who are those laughing”?
Norrr my eye top ‘’kpaaaa’’…..helplessly all my paddies they fear am, I try dey beg am….!
Bigboi: “oh bossu, I didn’t know it was you ooo’’ ”kpaaa!! another slap……kpaaaa!! ah come chop like 6 slaps. He brings out a big giant roll from his pocket n lights it…..!!
Ras Ningo: ”b33 you say you get muff, the wee sef how muchey you fit smoke…..?”
He hands me the giant roll with an attitude and command…..today na today, you go blunt all for here….!!!
Me: “ooo, oh Ras…ah beg’’
I took it immediately like how big brother says “immediately”, was about to puff it noorr wey the policemen who were chasing me rushed in……RAID….!!!!!!!!!!!
Police: “maaaafuckas freeze….’’
The giant ganja roll like tea bread still dey my hand inside…….!!!